4/29 Day Seven

First week of hiking...check!

Taking some much needed recuperation time in a hotel in Julian CA for the night before heading back to the trail tomorrow. Here's what's been happening in trail world:

4/24: Rain. Hiked 5 miles uphill in the weather in to Annual Day Zero PCT Kick Off at Lake Morena. Went to a bunch of seminars, met lots of hikers, but mostly slept.

4/25: ADZ Day 2, more seminars, a little gear review, more rain in the morning but it cleared up enough around 2 that I decided to hike out early with a few other hikers looking to beat the crowds, since it was overcast skies but no rain. Hiked an easy 6 to Boulder Oaks campground. Some trail magic along the way included an avocado and a Cadbury egg. Wind and rain picked up again just as we hit camp. Pretty bad storm, uprooted my tent stakes a few times. Stayed relatively dry, and made chili to go with my avocado under my tarp vestibule. Storm ended around midnight.

4/26: Hiked 14ish miles solo to Mt. Laguna in the first sunny day we've had so far on the trail. Still nice and cool from the rain, made some new hiker friends along the way. Camped at Burnt Rancheria campground with a whole slew of thru hikers, had our first fire in the fire pit (fires are not usually allowed in southern California in the summer, because of the potential for wildfires).

4/27: Took a SHOWER. The campground had showers for a dollar so I "splurged". Went into town to pick up my bounce box from San Diego and get some real food, bumped into my friends Anne (Color Wheel), Nina (Rafiki?), and Barbara (Madam Hooch!) from the first day. We resupplied out of the store and our mail drops and then hiked 6 miles to Laguna campground, made new friends "Cheney" and "Schmuck" who had some really funny stories. Slept without a rain fly for the first time, great stars out here.

4/28: Hiked 16 miles to a dry creekbed. Very little water on this stretch, so we had to carry a lot extra. Very heavy packs. Had the best views by far all day long and an awesome breeze to cool us off. Hard and steep descent to the campsite, we were all wiped out, decided to get to town early for a "nero" (nearly zero, otherwise known as a half day of hiking) to rest our beat up legs.

4/29: Woke up at 4:00 AM to dark sky lit by every single star, it was absolutely breathtaking. Packed up camp, ate a quick breakfast, and hiked out at 5:00 in the dark. We hiked into the first stretch of REAL desert today. It was 90 degrees before 9:00 AM. Lots of cacti and succulent plants. Hiked my first "10 by 10", which means I hiked 10 miles before 10 in the morning. 14 miles total today, putting me at 77 miles complete of the PCT. The last hour of hiking was ROUGH. It was close to noon and I was walking towards the highway through the valley in direct sunlight. No sunburns, but the heat wiped me out. I reached the underpass and a trail angel was waiting with shade, a chair, a beer, and a sandwich. I was so shell shocked, all I could do was sit down and stammer out a few thank yous before I inhaled everything. Color Wheel was there, as well as a few other hiker friends, so we stayed there for a while, scrubbing the dirt off our feet and chatting with those amazing trail angels who literally turned the day around for us. Got a ride into Julian, got a hotel room with Color Wheel, Rafiki, and Madam Hooch, and got a slice of the best pie I think I've ever had. This town is great.

I have gotten my trail name now. I am HAPPY FEET. I have not had any blisters, knee issues, etc, so MY feet are happy, but sadly, the feet of my peers have not been so lucky. I came prepared with a sewing kit though, so I now have a reputation on trail as a skilled popper of blisters. My ratio of number of blisters popped (not my own) to miles hiked is approximately 1 for every 7.

I have seen three kinds of snakes and two kinds of lizards, but no mountain lions or rattlesnakes yet. Just a lot of cacti and sage brush and poodle dog bush (yes that's a real thing, and it's worse than poison ivy, look it up and don't touch it, EVER). My appetite is WAY down, to the point of forcing myself to eat, but part of that is from my body not being used to the trail and the other part is probably from the heat. Like I said before, no sunburns yet, but I do have trouble telling the difference between the color I get from the sun and the layer of DIRT that cakes itself onto my hands, legs, and especially my toes. This is a very dusty trail. But my goodness it is gorgeous.

I'm hoping to hike out tomorrow late in the afternoon with Rafiki, after the heat of the day passes. Color Wheel has a terrible blister and needs to zero so it can heal. Madam Hooch was only supposed to stay three weeks to hike with her daughter (Rafiki), but she's had enough and is staying another day too and flying back home on Friday. My next stop is at Warner Springs, just past the 100 mile mark. In the meantime though, I'm resting up and hanging out with all the hikers in town. I've done 77 miles in 7 days!

Some photo highlights from the past week

4/23 Day One

Today was my very first day on trail. Alarm at 5:00 AM, wheels up at 6:00, we rode to the trailhead, and arrived shortly after 7:00, about 20 hikers including myself. We took pictures, said goodbye to the amazing trail angels that cared for and fed us the last few days, and one by one we strode off along the narrow path of dirt receding into the brush. The weather was perfect, cloudy but not rainy, and just cool enough. An amazing breeze kept us content and smiling as our pack fell into pace groups. I enjoyed about a six mile stretch alone at the start, enjoying the occasional passes and greetings of my fellow hikers. I stopped for a mid-morning rest at about ten on a beautiful slab of limestone looking out over each mile I had just traversed. While I was snacking on jerky and raisins, I was joined by a woman named Ann from Austria I had met at the house the night before. Following closely behind her was a mother-daughter team, Nina and Barbara, respectively. The four of us hiked the next 9 miles together, all the way to camp that night. A bad descent down the canyon wall to the dry creek left us pretty beat, but to our happy surprise almost all of the hikers we had left the border with were camped there and enjoying their dinners. We joined them immediately, extremely glad for the rest, the company, and the chance to EAT. We made some food for ourselves and then began to tend to our wounded skin. I have bruises on my hips and shoulders from my pack, and the start of a few blisters on my toes, but nothing serious. My shoes are caked in dirt though, as are my hands, feet, legs and clothes. This is a dusty trail. The sky is spitting a weak little rain on and off as I write this, and the north end of the canyon is now eclipsed by fog, so it appears gloomy, but our ragtag bunch couldn't be in better spirits. We're all so happy to be here and to have had such a great first day. Tomorrow we can sleep in and walk an "easy" 5 miles in to the big kick off event at Lake Morena campground.

I just looked outside my tent because I realized it is now silent out there. It is pitch dark, and the only sounds are the rustling of sleeping bags against tent fabric and the faint hum of the border patrol helicopters several miles off. Oh, and there's the rain again.

Some pictures, and then that's all for now! Things are going great!

First Steps

It is here. It is finally here. Here I go. 

Tomorrow morning I will wake up and ride in a van for an hour. When it stops I will get out of the van, stand in the early morning sun, and I will finally, finally take my very first steps on the Pacific Crest Trail.

It doesn't seem real, but it is here. I'm here now. A year of planning, months of hard work and saving, dozens of training hikes, all for this moment. So much of this hike is dedicated to the many, many people who helped me, encouraged me, supported me, believed in me, and continue to do those things every day. But these first steps...these are for me.

I made a big decision a little while ago.

I don't remember what it was, which prob'ly goes to show

That many times a simple choice can prove to be essential

Even though it often might appear inconsequential.

I must have been distracted when I left my home because

Left or right I'm sure I went. (I wonder which it was!)

Anyway, I never veered: I walked in that direction

Utterly absorbed, it seems, in quiet introspection.

For no reason I can think of, I've wandered far astray.

And that is how I got to where I find myself today.

A poem by Mr. Bill Watterson.

Thank you for your words and your wisdom and your eternal childlike spirit.

Walking Into The Unknown

So there I am, at the SeaTac airport, waiting to board my flight to San Diego, and I am freaking out!

Thoughts start running through my head:
Why on Earth am I doing this??
What was I thinking??
I'm not prepared for this!!
Why did I think I could do something like this??
This is crazy!!!!

Just sheer unadulterated panic, and a little unfiltered doubt on the side. My fear has followed me here and taken hold of me once more. It started the minute I stepped into the terminal and realized that from here on out, I'm in totally foreign territory. I am walking into the unknown. Alone.

People ask me all the time when they find out I'm a solo female hiker: "Aren't you scared?"

The truth? Hell yes I'm scared.

But here's the thing about fear. I've noticed that fear, in the spectrum of human emotion, is the most detrimental emotion to a human soul. It's potent, but usually does more harm than good. It's the fast food of emotions. Fear can keep us alive to some degree, sure, it keeps us out of potentially life-threatening situations. But we live in a pretty non-threatening world, and so fear these days is largely unhelpful to us. Instead, it keeps us from living the lives we've always dreamed of. Think about how many times in your life you have said something to the tune of "Oh, I've always wanted to do something like that, but..."

That's fear people. Controlling you, holding you back, telling you "you can't". Fear is the only true human limitation. It is strong, and it is cunning. It strikes when you least expect and are most vulnerable, and it will hold you in its vice grip forever unless you can manage to wriggle free. Fear is the cage we must all find a way to escape.

So there I am, standing at my gate, trapped in fear's clutches again. I escaped the cage, and was bounding across the lawn towards my freedom. I was a few leaps from the edge of the woods, the wild world where I could be truly free, when suddenly I am yanked back. Breathless and confused, I look down and see I am tethered to the cage, by a mere few hundred feet of rope. I am caught between two worlds. I know only a few options are present to me here. I can resign myself to this confinement, and lope somewhat morosely back to my cage and lay there, safe in the familiar. Or, if I choose quickly, I can chew my way through the rope and continue on. The rope is fraying and my teeth are sharp. But everything I love is back there! My family, good food, soft beds, all these things that I hold dear! But my spirit is wild, and the woods are calling...

My phone rings and I'm brought back to the terminal. It's my mom. She's calling because I had texted her that I was nervous. I am tearful as she reminds me how prepared I am, how hard I've worked for this, how proud she is of me. She tells me to stop psyching myself out. Good old mom, she's always right. In my mind's eye, I look at the rope again and it loosens and is suddenly gone, vanished, as if it was never there. Just my imagination.

I shoulder my pack and I board the plane.

As I walk through the cabin of the plane, looking for my seat, I hear a voice call out. "Hey! Are you going to Scout and Frodo's?"

I turn back to see a middle aged man in glasses beaming up at me.

"Yes!" I reply, "Are you?"

"Yeah!"

I offer him my hand in introduction.

"I'm Carolyn."

"Brad," he replies, shaking my hand, still beaming.

I have just met the first of my PCT classmates.

People are shuffling behind me now so I have to move on, but I make a mental note to find Brad the minute we land. I finally find my seat, settle in, and realize I am grinning from ear to ear. I was miserable moments ago, and now I am ecstatic. I'm not alone.

Seattle...Check! Next Stop San Diego!

This is my fifth and final day in Seattle. Tomorrow morning at about 6 AM west coast time I will catch the light rail in to the SeaTac airport and step onto a southbound plane.

Seattle is just an awesome city. I've visited just once before, but for someone who doesn't take to cities too well, it's my kind of place. The best things about Seattle include, but are not limited to: the seafood, the views of the mountains, the outdoorsy people, the ease of public transit, and the wonderful and accepting nature of the community. It is a very progressive city in terms of social acceptance, and individuality thrives here. Oh, and my best friend lives there. Gotta love that.

Grace and I spent the last several days walking all over the city, checking out good foodie hotspots, city parks and arboretums, taking her dog to enjoy the ocean, tasting some craft beers, hanging out with her friends, and just enjoy the rare stretch of sunny weather in the rainiest of cities. Nothing but sun and 70s every day since the second my plane touched down.

So San Diego in the morning. I'll be meeting the trail angels who are hosting me, as well as introducing myself to the first 40+ hikers of several hundred hikers i will meet over the coming months. I'll have one day to hang out in the city, and hopefully entertain a visit from a long-time family friend and her husband! (Don't forget the jerky Judy!) All my gear is together, my first resupply box is well on its way to Warner Springs, and everything is falling into place! The 23rd is my start day. Not even three days are left until I'm there!

The Take-Off: Westward Bound

"It is well at every given moment to seek the limits in our lives

And once those limits are understood

To understand that limitations no longer exist."

A poem by Nancy Sheibner, read by Hillary Rodham Clinton at her Wellesley College commencement, May 31, 1969

This time tomorrow I will be taking on the west coast, probably drinking a beer with my best friend and talking about how wild it is that I'm finally here, on the precipice of an adventure I have been planning for months.

I mailed my first box to myself today. It's going to a town called Warner Springs, which is located at the approximate 100 mile marker on the Pacific Crest Trail. It has my next set of maps, a few fuel canisters, some dehydrated dinners, MAC AND CHEESE, and a few other goodies to congratulate myself on (hopefully!) walking the first hundred miles of my trek uninhibited. And ideally in one piece :)

I'm not nervous about the hike anymore. I'm not afraid to live out of a backpack, to sleep on the ground, to walk for miles and miles day in and day out. I'm not afraid of the cold and the heat, the wind and the rain, the snow and the hot desert sun. I'm not afraid to be alone, and I'm not afraid that I might fail.

What's throwing me right now is that I won't see anyone or anything from my life here in civilization for half a year. HALF a YEAR. That's not like "a few weeks" or "a few months". That's a long time! I'm not going to drive my car for HALF a YEAR. I'm not going to wear non-hiking clothes for HALF a YEAR. I won't ride my bike, go for a run, use my computer, read my favorite book, watch my favorite movie, use my own hairbrush, grab a coffee or a beer with one of my friends, or have dinner with my family. For HALF a YEAR. Think about it. It's weird.

But I ask myself, "What's more important? Staying in my happy little comfort zone or giving life a chance to mix things up for me?"

Answer: Mix it up. Puree that sh*t.

Thanks to everyone who came to my Happy Trails get-together (and thanks to those of you who couldn't make it too!) Thank you for your good wishes, happy thoughts, prayers, and never-ending support. It's hard to be strong in the world when it's just you holding yourself up, but it's so much easier when you have a well-woven net beneath you of friends, family, and loved ones who always have your back.

That's all for right now. Off to Seattle in the morning!

"'Go back?' he thought. 'No good at all. Go sideways? Impossible! Go forward? Only thing to do!'"

~ J.R.R.Tolkien, The Hobbit

A Week Left on the East Coast

In a week I'll be flying to Seattle, kicking off my trip by visiting my very best friend and doing a little sight-seeing in the Pacific Northwest. My last trip there was super fun so I am excited!

Finishing up moving this week. Moving is the actual worst, but now that it's all just about taken care of I feel as though I'm living on another frequency. Everything is completely different now. A whole new phase of my life is beginning, and I have exactly two weeks to go before I walk right into it!

I've said goodbye to most of my friends, visited my family up north, been going for long walks every day to get "warmed up" so to speak. I'm currently working on a system for my mom so she knows what gear to send me. Everything is labeled and listed by number on a Google doc for both of us. I set up a "maildrop box building station" in my room for her to use, with extra boxes, camera batteries, fuel canisters, labels, spare bottles of soap, lotion, hand sanitizer, etc., anything I could possibly need! Box one gets sent out to Warner Springs the day I leave town, so I'm starting to pack it up!

Going away party this weekend and then next stop, SEATTLE!